Most of us have grown up hearing “quitting is not an option” - a mantra that has been meant to instill perseverance. From sports arenas to startup culture, society celebrates grit and pushing through obstacles at all costs.
While perseverance can be powerful, it can also trap us in situations that leave us burnt out, stuck, and unhappy.
Consider this: if you’ve been a professional who has invested years in a career that now drains you daily, or if you’ve been an entrepreneur clinging to a failing venture because “winners never quit,” at some point, when is it enough?
In truth, endlessly powering through isn’t always admirable, sometimes it’s harmful.
Today, I’d like to challenge the one-dimensional “don’t quit” narrative and explore how to know when it’s time to quit: when letting go might be the best way to move forward.
The Pressure to “Never Quit”
We live in a culture that idolizes perseverance.
Messages like “Never quit! Never give up!” are everywhere, implying that persistence is the only road to success.
Popular quotes (like coach Vince Lombardi’s famous “Winners never quit, and quitters never win”) reinforce the idea that quitting equals failure. Under this pressure, merely considering quitting can stir feelings of guilt and shame. We start to associate quitting with personal weakness or “giving up” on ourselves.
This stigma has deep emotional roots. Psychologically, we often tie our self-worth to our ability to endure hardships. Admitting a job or project isn’t working out can feel like admitting we are not good enough.
As one founder put it, “We associate quitting with giving up, and that feels like a deeper, more humiliating version of failure”.
No wonder so many people stay in jobs, relationships, or pursuits that make them miserable – the very thought of quitting feels like failure.
Yet, letting go need not be defeat.
In fact, reframing “quitting” as “letting go” or “moving on” can transform it into an act of courage and wisdom, rather than weakness.
When Perseverance Becomes Harmful
Ironically, the very grit that drives success can also become a double-edged sword.
Psychologists note that there’s a downside to being too gritty or inflexible in pursuit of a goal. If you insist on “never quitting” no matter what, you might ignore red flags that your path is no longer right.
You could, for example, keep chasing a promotion in a toxic company while overlooking a better opportunity elsewhere, simply because you don’t want to seem like a quitter. Research for a recent book on grit found that being “so focused on a [single] goal” can blind us to alternatives and lead to stagnation.
One clear warning sign is burnout. When you push persistently toward a goal that no longer fulfills you, it takes a mental and physical toll. You may start feeling dissatisfied with each small accomplishment, deriving no pride or joy from progress.
You might find yourself languishing – that meh feeling of emptiness and stagnation where the goal “doesn’t light you up in any way”. Over time, chronic stress and disappointment can lead to full-blown burnout, marked by exhaustion, cynicism, and a sense of ineffectiveness.
Psychologists warn that if you’re “more likely to feel dissatisfied… and burn out (physically and mentally), it just might be time to adapt or completely quit the goal” causing these symptoms.
In other words, perseverance has a point of diminishing returns, and crossing that line can damage your well-being.
Importantly, people with a “never quit” mindset often rationalize these negative signals away. They tell themselves that feeling miserable is just part of the struggle: “Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever,” as the saying goes.
However, by brushing off their dissatisfaction and exhaustion as “normal,” they may be “missing how much further they’d go if they were to quit,” as psychologist Melanie McNally observes.
In many cases, quitting an unfulfilling endeavor frees up the time, energy, and creativity needed to pursue a new goal – one that could bring far greater satisfaction. Staying the course indefinitely “just because” can actually hold you back from growth.
Why Letting Go Is So Hard
If quitting often opens doors, why do we struggle so much to do it?
The barriers to letting go are as much mental as they are cultural. One big culprit is the sunk cost fallacy – a cognitive bias that tricks us into sticking with something because of all the time, money, or effort we’ve already put in.
In simple terms, we “spend more time and effort on a project simply because we’ve already invested in it”, even if the project is going nowhere. Our past investment looms so large that it blinds us to the bleak future prospects.
This bias is incredibly common; everyone from students to seasoned military officers can fall prey to it.
We focus on not “wasting” what we’ve put in, rather than asking what outcome will serve us best going forward.
Closely tied to sunk costs is our aversion to failure and loss. We’re taught to fear the label “quitter” as if it means we lack character. Psychologically, quitting something can feel like we’re accepting a loss, and humans tend to go to great lengths to avoid losses.
Economist Steven Levitt even found that people often hang on longer than they should in jobs or relationships, simply to avoid the pain of loss, when objectively quitting would leave them happier.
We also worry about how others will judge us. This social pressure can create a fear of regret: “What if I quit and it turns out I could have succeeded if I tried just a little longer?”
The result is that we often quit too late, or not at all, enduring far more distress and lost opportunity than if we had changed course earlier.
Moreover, many of us tie our identity to our goals. Stepping away can feel like erasing a part of ourselves.
As Walden University’s psychology faculty note, “giving up is often equated with failure” in our minds, so we cling even to things that don’t serve us. We might stay in an unhealthy relationship because “we’ve been together so long,” or remain in a stagnant career because it’s what we studied in college.
These are powerful emotional hooks.
Pride, fear, and commitment all entwine to whisper: “Quitting now means everything so far was a waste.” But that isn’t true – those past efforts brought you experience and insight. As one expert puts it, “Is something really a failure if it ultimately moves you forward? It isn’t… it’s turning a new leaf and positioning yourself for a more successful future.”
In many cases, the only truly wasted effort is continuing down a path that is clearly not working.
The Upside of Quitting (Pivoting to Growth)
Contrary to popular belief, quitting can be a path to success.
Strategic quitting – knowing what to quit and when – is a critical skill for growth seekers.
Former professional poker player Annie Duke emphasizes that an extreme aversion to quitting can “negatively impact…growth,” whereas sometimes “changing course will lead to a more successful outcome.”
In her book Quit, Duke argues that we often overlook the winners who quit at the right time. Society loves to spotlight the rare heroes who stuck it out against all odds, but “how can we learn if we don’t even see the quitters?” she asks.
Many quiet success stories are built on well-timed exits: entrepreneurs who pivoted companies, professionals who left stable jobs to pursue new industries, artists who abandoned one project to start a better one.
Quitting the “wrong thing” makes space to discover the right thing.
Studies back this up. In one study tracking major life decisions, people who decided to quit (a dissatisfying job, a failing venture, etc.) ended up happier on average than those who stuck it out in similar circumstances.
If you’re torn 50/50 on whether to persist or quit, that research suggests quitting is often the better choice. Why? Because we tend to undervalue the opportunity cost of not quitting. By staying stuck, we forgo other opportunities that could be far more rewarding. As Duke puts it, “success is not achieved by sticking to hard things that are not worthwhile.”
Indeed, quitting frees you to channel your grit into a new direction where it can pay off.
Quitting is also a sign of adaptability. In business and in life, the ability to respond to new information is crucial. Stubbornly sticking to Plan A in a changing world can lead to failure, whereas those willing to pivot can thrive. “The road to sustained success… is not only about sticking to a strategy… it is also about reacting to the changing landscape,” Duke notes.
A famous example is Slack: its founder Stewart Butterfield actually started with a gaming startup that showed some promise, but he saw the writing on the wall that it wouldn’t scale. He made the bold decision to shut it down despite time and money invested.
That “failure” freed his team to double down on a side project – a communication tool that became the wildly successful Slack.
Stories like this underscore that knowing when to walk away can be immensely strategic, not cowardly.
Finally, from a neuroscience perspective, our brains are on our side when we choose to learn something new. Thanks to neuroplasticity, the brain remains capable of adapting and forming new connections throughout life.
In fact, “your brain changes physically whenever you learn anything,” continually rewiring itself with each new experience. This means quitting one path to pursue another isn’t squandering your talent or time; it’s often brain fuel.
New challenges and environments can stimulate growth, keep you sharp, and even improve long-term cognitive health by strengthening neural pathways.
In short, humans are built to evolve. Far from being a dead-end, quitting can kick-start a period of accelerated learning and self-discovery.
How to Know When It’s Time to Quit
Knowing that quitting can be positive doesn’t automatically make it easy. The key question remains: How do you know when to stick it out versus when to cut your losses?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer, but there are clear signs and strategies to guide you.
First, listen to your inner experience. Are you persistently unhappy or unfulfilled by this pursuit? Do you dread working on it, or feel relief when you imagine not doing it anymore? Persistent negative emotions – feeling unmotivated, “meh,” or drained – are strong indicators that something is off. Occasional struggle is normal in any worthwhile endeavor, but if joy and curiosity have flatlined for a long time, it may be time to rethink your commitment.
Second, consider what staying the course is truly costing you. Perform a honest audit of the time, energy, and money you’re pouring in. Then imagine reallocating those resources elsewhere.
One therapist recommends a visualization exercise: picture your life after quitting this goal – from the moment you wake up, through your day, and notice how you feel with that burden lifted. Do you feel a sense of relief, lightness, or excitement at the thought of letting it go? If yes, that speaks volumes.
Also ask: what are you gaining by staying? If the main answer is “not wasting what I’ve done so far,” that’s the sunk cost fallacy talking. Instead, flip the perspective and write down the potential benefits of quitting. You might list missed opportunities or new possibilities you could pursue if you freed yourself. Seeing these side by side can clarify whether persevering is truly worth it or just a habit.
Third, it’s also wise to check whether factors beyond your control are at play. No amount of personal grit can overcome an inherently unwinnable situation. Market conditions, organizational dysfunction, health constraints – sometimes external realities make a goal unattainable despite your best efforts.
A bit of Stoic philosophy helps here: distinguish what you can control (your effort, your attitude) from what you can’t (the outcome, other people’s choices). If you’ve been fighting facts, like forcing a business that isn’t viable or trying to change a partner who doesn’t want to change, it may be wiser (and not shameful) to let go.
“Follow your good sense and responsibly walk away from the things that do not serve us,” as one psychologist advises. In these cases, quitting is not surrender; it’s a strategic retreat to focus on battles you can win.
Finally, reframe your mindset about what quitting means. Choosing to quit is not the same as personal failure. It takes integrity and self-awareness to acknowledge when something isn’t right for you. Remind yourself that walking away can be a strength, not a weakness. It shows you value your growth and well-being over clinging to an image of “being tough.”
Instead of saying “I’m giving up,” say “I’m pivoting” or “I’m making a change.”
By extracting lessons from the experience, you carry its value forward into your next chapter. Every endeavor, successful or not, teaches you something. Quitting simply means you’ve decided to apply those lessons elsewhere.
In the words of one article on ending projects: “Regardless of how successful your project was or was not, you’ve gained valuable experience... and most importantly, you learned that you can recognize when giving up is the right call.”.
That insight – the ability to make the tough call when it counts – is incredibly empowering.
Key Questions to Ask Yourself
Quitting is rarely an easy decision, but asking yourself the right questions can provide clarity on whether to persevere or pivot. Below is a set of guiding questions, distilled from psychological research and wisdom above, to help you know when it might be time to quit. Use them as a mirror for self-reflection. Your honest answers can illuminate the path forward – whether that means redoubling your efforts or confidently walking away.
Am I holding on just because of everything I’ve invested so far? In other words, if I hadn’t already spent so much time or money, would I still choose this today? Don’t let sunk costs alone drive your decision. Focus on future prospects, not past investments.
What is this pursuit really costing me – and is it still worth it? Consider the toll on your mental health, relationships, and other opportunities. If continuing is causing burnout or significant sacrifice without sufficient reward, that’s a red flag.
How do I feel when I imagine quitting? Close your eyes and picture your life next month or year after letting this go. Do you feel relief, peace, excitement? Feeling lightened at the thought of quitting is a strong sign that moving on could be right.
What are the facts telling me? Step back and objectively assess your situation. Are external conditions (market demand, timing, personal circumstances) stacked against this succeeding, despite your effort? Be brutally honest about what you can and cannot control.
Does this goal align with who I am and want to be? We grow and change. It’s okay if a goal that made sense once no longer fits your values or passions. Don’t stick with a path that leads you away from the life you truly want, just because you started down it.
If a good friend were in my shoes, what would I advise them? Imagining someone you care about facing your situation can reveal truths that emotions and ego might be clouding. Often, we find we’d kindly urge them to move on – a clue that we might need to take our own advice.
Ultimately, only you know the right path for you. Quitting something hard is often the bravest, most growth-oriented choice you can make. It’s not about “giving up,” it’s about choosing yourself: your well-being, your learning, and your future.
I’m reminded of this quote that I read once before: “It’s never too late to change course – no matter how long you’ve been there.”
By knowing when to quit, you’re not closing the book; you’re simply turning the page to the next chapter of your growth story.
Sources: The insights and research in this article are supported by credible sources, including Psychology Today, Walden University’s psychology resources, and expert perspectives from Annie Duke’s Quit (2022), among others. These sources provide evidence that while perseverance is valuable, knowing when to quit is a critical skill for long-term success and well-being.
If this resonated with you, here are 5 ways we can explore and work together:
My Books
Brain and Simple – A guide for entrepreneurs, marketers, and creators who want to understand how the mind makes decisions and apply neuroscience to simplify marketing and influence.
Be Brave, Create – 52 essays for creatives and professionals in the messy middle of life or business, designed to help you heal, reframe, and keep creating through uncertainty.
1:1 Neuroplasticity Coaching
For people who want to rewire habits, narratives, and self-trust.
Schedule here.Brain-Based Marketing Strategy Intensive (3–4 hours)
A deep session to align your message with how the brain makes decisions.
Book your session.Tactical Strategy Session (1 hour)
Quick but brain-savvy strategy boost for creators or solopreneurs.
Grab a slot.Book Me as a Speaker
Bold, brain-based keynotes blending science and soul.
Invite me to speak.